Youtube Traps: Not all bad

Recently I was fumbling around Youtube, and with Youtube comes the inevitable trap of going through the most random videos that were totally unrelated to the last hundred videos you had just watch.  It can lead you to creepy, scary, confusing places.  This time, I was brought to a video of the Sailor Moon opening theme song.  I listened to the song for hours, putting it in a playlist so that it would just repeat over and over, endlessly.  It was the hypest!

It was strange because I had not listened to that specific song in years, but I could still recite all of the lyrics.  It brought about the good feelings you get when you remember a happy moment when you were a child.  I had not experienced very many of these before, but when I do I just feel happy for weeks.  You wouldn't expect that from a tv show that aired ten years ago that was centered around a bunch of girls...  Okay I did.

Now to what matters most: What makes Sailor Moon so special?  Well, if you haven't done the proper research you would think, "She's a high school girl, in a anime show, nothing special."  WRONG!

This seemingly weak girl actually has the power to blow up planets.  That's right, planets.  If given the right situation, she could potentially blow up galaxies.  Didn't expect that did you?  Don't worry, it doesn't stop there.

She's so fast she can fly from the Earth's atmosphere to the moon in moments.  Fly to different planets in minutes.  She can also keep up with someone who flew around the universe, blowing up planets for fun.  That give you an idea of how scary she is?

Guess what?  She can bring people back to life.  Seriously, she's brought back the entire population of Earth.  This is getting ridiculous right?  How could there be anything more to this girl?

Well there is.  At some point in her life, she stopped getting older in appearance.  If you saw her a thousand years later, she would still look like this:

Not fair right?  That's what happens when you're the star of anything Japanese.  You look the same in episode 10,000 as you did in episode 1.

Introductory, Expositional, Beginning

Here's the introduction of my short story.  I think it's pretty good...

Wheels on pavement and the whirring of a motor sounded and could be heard several hundred yards away.  A barren rock was as much beauty that could be seen, and even rocks were few and far between.  This territory belonged to Chief Falk Lymowkem, a cruel man that had an iron fist lied down over his fiefs.  He has eyes on every part of his land some say, others whisper that he has ears also that can pick out any sound of back talking about him.  Whatever anyone believes, one thing is known for sure, don’t mess with Falk.

A motorcycle could finally be distinguished.  It was quickly approaching the trade town of Talka.  A lone rider on a bike, their face unknown, hidden by a dark green visor on an equally dark green helmet.  This lone wanderer seemed to have some business in the town, or perhaps Talka was just a bump in their predetermined path.

No matter what they were doing, or how long they’d be staying, Talka was no place you would want to be.  Unless you’re a thief, crook, pirate, mercenary, Blazing Morning solder, or ex-soldier.

The unknown rider was soon outside of the towns entrance.  The way in was guarded by several ‘toll collectors.’  They were armed with nothing but makeshift weapons.  Some had clubs, others crowbars and the rest steel or copper pipes.  

The possible leader of this group said to the lone rider, “Hey baby,” as the rider could easily be noticed as a woman, “that’s a nice bike.  Mind if I take you for a ride on it?”  The others laughed.  The leader continued in a flirtatious way.  “I can't let you through here unless you pay the fee which for you, won't be money.”  

The group had now surrounded her, she still had both hands on the grips and didn't move.  

The bandits kicked and slid their hands across the shiny motorcycle.  All the while making disgusting comments towards the female rider.  One came up and asked, “What’s your name sweetie?” and reached for her head.  Grabbing the helmet he threw her to the ground making a thud noise.  The helmet was dirty now but had no cracks in it.  

Another one came up from behind and tried to take the helmet off.  As if on instinct she grabbed his hand and threw him to the group, twisting his arm painfully while he was down.  Now the others started getting defensive but still laughing.

The lone woman let go of the bandits arm, ceasing the screams of pain.  

The others readied their weapons for an attack.  Making fake lunges in attempts to try and scare her, laughing while they were doing so.  The woman resolutely stood her ground, her expressions masked by the helmet.

Finally one of them made a move.  He used his crowbar to smash her helmet.  Swiftly the rider disarmed the bandit, while shifting her weight to throw him to the ground.  Then another tried to strike, only to be disarmed and thrown to the ground like the previous one.

Next, two or three tried at once, all with no success.  Soon four or five, but all to no avail.  The fact that they were being beaten by a woman aggravated them greatly.  The once playful laughs had turned to angry yells.

As if she'd had enough, the rider reached to her side and pulled out a square device with a handle in the center.  A click of a button and the device had mechanically changed into a blade.

The bandits had grown only angrier.  The advantage of weapons had been lost.

Several charged with weapons raised high, leaving their torso wide open.  The lone rider, with one hand, sliced the first bandit’s chest.  Blood splattered out, and the corpse crumpled to the ground.  The others had no time to react and met the same fate.  In mere seconds they had lost many bandits and the rest seemed to grow hesitant.

The rider gave no sign of stopping and began cutting down.  Starting with the ones not paying enough attention.  They seemed to be looking for a way to escape, giving her ample time to cut them down.

After the small fry were finished off, the rider was wasting too much time and, as lightning fast as an old cowboy gunslinger, whipped out her gun.  It had a long barrel with a small handle fit for her hand.

Firing eight shots, each bullet hit straight and true in their chest.  That was the last of the common thieves, all that was left was the leader who was sprawled out on the ground like a frightened child.

Walking over to him, the woman biker grabbed him by his collar and brought him within inches of the helmets visor.  He couldn't see anything besides his scared facial expression, making him even more unnerved.  Flipping up her visor he could see nothing but empty auburn eyes, seemingly stealing his very soul from his body.

“The day of judgment is nigh,” the woman said.  “You caught me on a good day so I’m going to let you live.  If you do one thing for me.  Tell Reeve, the Harbinger of Death is out to get him.”

Aquaman: Dud or Spud?

Most times Aquaman gets a bad rap.  I mean, all he can control are creatures from the sea right?  He's not Poseidon or anything, but he can try to be.  There is one thing in the sea that can trounce every other super being in existence.  It's an Elder God, one of legend and myth.

Meet Cthulhu.  No he's not Godzilla, that would be a major downgrade.  This alone makes Aquaman the most feared Superhero in existence.  Period.

A Nice Little Scene

The bartender groaned in pain.  Cuts and splinters covered his backside and arms.  He tried to run away, but Laura shot him in the knee cap causing him to collapse and grab the wound.

She walked over, pistol in hand.

“ I'll ask once more nicely, where’s Reeve.”

The man just cried in pain and fear.  Somehow he managed to mutter, “Just leave me alone.”

The last standing table was now in front of Araidiya.  Using one arm, she flung it against the wall, shattering it into pieces.

She bent her knees when she was near him and grabbed him by his hair.  

“You know, you really have no idea how mad I get when people ignore my questions.  Right now there are two options for you, tell me where Reeve is or die.  A smart man would take the first option, but I'll oblige with your wishes.”  

Araidiya placed her gun on the man's forehead.

“I’m patient, so I'll count to five.  After that, it’s all up to chance.  One...”

The man stared at the gun resting on his head.

“Two.”

“Alright I'll talk!  There’s a switch under the counter, he’s inside there.”

“That was fast, I guess chance decides your fate now.  Since I already let someone go lately, you won't be so lucky.”  She pulled the trigger and let go of the man’s hair, a bullet hole now in his head.

My Superhero, Therefore the Greatest Superhero

Technically, they're not a Superhero.  No super powers or anything, but Batman doesn't have any and yet he's stronger than all the others.  Let's conduct an interview to get the inner workings of my creation.

Q: What is your name?

A: Araidiya.

Q: Just Araidiya?

A: Give me the next question, I've already gotten irritated by you.

Q: How old are you?

A: Next question.

... Q: What do you look like?

A: You're looking right at me.  You're not too bright are you?  Why don't you give me real questions.

Q: Alright then, what are your goals?  What do you desire?

A: Some people might think that I want to kill the ruler of this wasteland.  They always bother me about joining their rebellions, and if they just pay me to do things then I'll take up the work.  I won't tie myself down to anything.  When I'm dead then I might join something.

Q: Do you have any weaknesses?

A: Of course I do, anyone without a weakness is simply not trying to fail.  I'd say my weakness is not caring.

Q: What about some pet peeves?

A: Interviews.

Q: Okay... What about strengths?

A: I can shoot, use a plenty of melee weapons, the being spear is my favorite.  I can watch someone for days on end without sleep, food, and drink minimal water.  Psychological tactics, intimidation is my strong suit.

Q: So you're a Jack of all Trades?

A: If you want to put it that way, then yes.

Q: Where do you live?

A: I have an underground hideout somewhere, it's just for resting and hiding.  I don't expect it to stay hidden for very long.

Q: No house?

A: I get a place to sleep when I'm working, houses are among the most common places.

Q: Any sad moments in your life?

A: I was in a group, two of them were killed because of me.  I left right after it happened.  Parents were killed too, nothing much other than that.

Q: Any other family members?

A: I have a twin sister.

Q: What's she like?

A: She tries to kill me every time we meet.  She's got some weird powers or something, I'm not sure what.  Next question.

Q: What is your take on good and evil?  Do you really have an opinion?

A: If you form a dictatorship like the one I live in, then I take that as evil.  I don't really care about anything that is good.  As long as I get work and get paid, you're good in my book.

Q: Have any hobbies?

A: Oh ya, I knit and sew while I'm being chased by large men with guns shooting at me.  It's very thrilling.  Would you care to try?

Q: N-no thanks.

A: Here, take these.

Q: Is this yarn?

A: Now start running...

The Blunder Chronicles

So first off I'm going to tell you that if I wrote any of MY embarrassing moments all you would read about is when I dropped a cup of water and had no repercussions.  So instead I'll tell you about someone who should have no bloopers in their life.  You'll know him once I mention his name, it's quite iconic.

The story goes that there was a scientist who, in the quest to create the perfect being, acquired a baby and put it on an inhospitable planet.  It died very quickly, but the scientist grabbed the corpse and brought it back to life.  Again, he dropped in into this deadly planet and brought it back to life once it died.  After dozens of times of doing this, the baby adapted to the environment and could live in it and survive against it's animals.  Along with this adaption, it also acquired the ability to revive itself after it's death to become invulnerable to what killed it.  I should tell you that this planet was named Krypton.

The baby had developed into a massive creature of rage and it's rage was kindled at the Kryptonians. It began a path of destruction on the planet until the citizens could launch it off in a spaceship, away from them.  Sadly it landed on an inhabited planet.  With it's strength it couldn't be killed that easily and the only way  it could be stopped was from a solar blast that was emitted by the local hero.  In the aftermath it was, again, launched off into space and they hoped to never see it again.

Next stop: Earth.

The creature was now so powerful that it could take on one of the early incarnations of the Justice League.  The Justice League was not as powerful as most of us are used to, it had no Wonder Woman or Green Lantern but even with them Doomsday would have caused them trouble.  So this creature, landing on Earth and creating a gigantic dent on the planet surface, with one hand, started to pulverize this JLA.  It became such a threat that there was only one man that could hope to stop it.  His name, is Superman.

Confronting this creature, Superman found it much harder to defeat this monstrosity.  It had gained its' other hand, meaning double the trouble compared to before.  With a battle of strength against strength, the greater one always wins.  That means it's bad news for one of them.

Doomsday, with his insatiable lust for Kryptonian blood and mindset of kill everything, had a psychological advantage over Superman.  It didn't fear death, pain, anything.  Not to mention his ability to adapt to any given situation, and you have the greatest death machine creatable.  I'd even go so far as to say that he could beat the Hulk, and if you look at my website url, you'll find that I am a Hulk fan.

Superman, with his willingness to give everything he has to protect this planet, had the advantage of having something to fight for.  In every story, having something to fight for means that you win every time.  Meaning that there is little chance of him actually losing.

Because this is titled 'The Blunder Chronicles' and it's about Superman, you could already infer what I am implying here.  If not, here's what happens.

Doomsday gets Superman to the ground, and starts beating face into the ground.  Eventually, Superman dies!  That's right, Superman is now dead.  The greatest superhero of them all, was defeated.  Not by any of his enemies either, just a roving monster that just happened to land on Earth.  Now tell everyone you know that Superman has died, and therefore is not the greatest superhero.

I you're one of those diehard Superman fans, I'll give you this.  Just get rid of everything I said and say, "He went into a 'healing coma.'"

Doomsday was again launched into space, and began his journey of becoming stronger, smarter, and therefore less deadly. 

Superman would come back to life through some alternate dimension universe where he didn't die.  Eventually these two would meet up again, but Doomsday had gained intelligence and feared death.  That is the sole reason he was defeated in round two.  If he had just stayed in the mindset of when they first met, there is no doubt Superman would have died again.

What would we do without the Mailman?

I'm going to take it a step back right now.  We can't really be appreciative of fictional characters from comic books, they haven't done anything for us.  We have to realize that there are people out there, slaving themselves to us to make our lives so much easier.

Ask yourself this: Have you ever talked to your mailman/woman?  The person who drives to you, your friends, and families houses almost every single day?  They save you the time to bring you your mail, to within 20 yards of your house.  I know how important it is for me to have a mailwoman (mailwoman is apparently not in this computer's dictionary, but mailman is, coincidence?).  Although I don't get mail personally, but whenever mail has to be delivered through something like UPS, I always have to accompany my mom.  Indirectly, it saves me the time that I probably would have to go to indirectly pick it up.

Think about the other men and women that give up time in their day to make our level comfort better.  The garbage man that came to pick up my garbage today.  Although my family has had some confrontations with him, we still thank him for doing it. 

I'm not doing this as a call to repentance for not saying thank you to someone who you probably never see.  We have to realize how spoiled our country is in terms of standard of living.  Sure we're no Canada, but people that clean, or are supposed to clean, the disgusting public bathrooms, don't they deserve praise?  The lunch ladies of our school, bus drivers, taxi drivers, the Satellite repairmen.  As much as they seem like ordinary people, what they do is what makes them extraordinary.  So when you're looking at the soldiers returning from overseas, or your parents, and thinking about how awesome they are, which they are, take a moment to look past them to the guy/girl putting the pieces of paper into your mailbox.